The ABC Method: How I’m Learning to Let Go of Perfection and Give Myself Grace

If I had to name one of my best (and worst) qualities, it’s that I’m a perfectionist. If I commit to a routine, I want to go all in, every step, every day, exactly how I planned it. But I’m also a mom of three with a full-time job, and life doesn’t always care about my perfect plans.

Whether it’s my morning routine, night routine, or workout routine, I create systems for everything. But here’s the problem: if I couldn’t do the full routine exactly right, I’d often do… nothing. And that didn’t help me move forward. Worse, I’d beat myself up over it.

Then I learned about the ABC Method from Dan Martell. It was one of those lightbulb moments during a morning YouTube watch. The idea is simple but powerful: give every routine an A, B, and C version. That way, you can adapt your routine to the time and energy you actually have, without abandoning it altogether.

This method gave me something I desperately needed: grace.

So I started building my ABC versions. Not just for my mornings, but for workouts and other parts of my life. Here's what that looks like for my morning routine:

Morning Routine – A Version (Full Routine)

This is my ideal morning. I usually have about 2 hours from 5:30 to 7:45 before I need to help get my son ready and out the door.

• Meditate (10 minutes)

• Stretch (10 minutes)

• Vibration plate (10 minutes – I read my Kindle while doing this!)

• Journal (10 minutes)

• Work on Words to Live By Gal (45 minutes)

• Workout & walk the dogs (45 minutes)

This version took years to build. I get up around 5:00–5:15 AM, brush my teeth, make the bed, throw on workout clothes, and start by 5:30. It’s taken practice and a lot of adjusting—especially depending on my kids’s age. He's 10 now so the mornings with him are a lot easier than when I had all 3 kids at home and trying to get moving. So if you have younger kids, please give yourself some grace!

Morning Routine – B Version (Moderate Routine)

This one’s for when I’ve had a rough night, or my son sneaks in early for a cuddle, or I just need the extra rest.

• Meditate (10 minutes)

• Journal (10 minutes)

• Work on Words to Live By Gal (30 minutes)

• Shorter workout or dog walk (30–45 minutes)

This still feels like a win, and it keeps my momentum going without pushing me to burnout.

Morning Routine – C Version (Grace Mode)

Some nights, I’m up a lot, I mean I'm 47- iykyk. And if I’m honest, there are days where I turn off the 5:00 AM alarm entirely. I wait until my husband leaves around 6:30 before I roll out of bed.On these mornings, I do what’s essential for my mental well-being:

• Meditate (10 minutes)

• Shorter workout & walk the dogs (30-45 minutes)

That’s it. And that’s enough.

I also use the ABC method for workouts. Ideally, I strength train three times a week and walk the dogs early before it gets too hot here in Florida. On busy days, I might just do two sets of my routine. On really tight days, I’ll do just one set of each exercise. Because keeping the habit is more important than doing it perfectly.

So, if you ever find yourself feeling like it’s “all or nothing” when it comes to your habits, I invite you to try this method. It’s helped me shift from shame to grace, from perfection to progress.

How could you use the ABC Method in your routines or habits? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments or feel free to message me!