Adages & Ideals I Live By as I’ve Gotten Older

Over the years, I’ve collected a handful of sayings, little truths I live by, that have helped me protect my peace, guard my time, and keep my perspective aligned with the life I want to build. These aren’t original (most of them have been passed around for years), but they’ve shaped the way I move through the world. Here are five of the most powerful ones:

1. It’s a no unless it’s a HELL YES.

As a reformed people-pleaser, I’ve learned that my time is precious. If something doesn’t light me up, if I wouldn’t say yes to it tonight, I’m not committing to it for three months from now.

This quote hit me a few years ago, and I’ve lived by it ever since. If it’s not something I’m genuinely excited to do, Hell yes! excited, I’m going to pass. No justification, no guilt, no over-explaining.

Because every yes to something that doesn’t serve me is a no to something that does.

2. Cheer other people on.

I’ve never understood the mindset that someone else’s success somehow takes away from your own. That’s simply not how it works.

I love cheering people on. A friend launches a new business? I’ll like, comment, share. Someone wins a contest? Amazing! What an accomplishment! It takes way less energy to root for people than it does to sit in envy or judgment.

Supporting others not only feels better, it builds stronger connections and reminds you that good things are always possible, for all of us.

3. You are the average of your five closest friends.

This is one I used to tell my students when I taught, and it still holds true.

The people you spend the most time with shape your energy, your mindset, your drive. Surround yourself with people who dream big, who take care of themselves, who uplift others, and naturally, you’ll rise too.

Want to stay active? Hang with people who want to walk, not just hit the bar (or maybe both, balance!). Want to grow? Spend time with people who challenge you to level up.

If your circle doesn’t align with your goals or values, ask yourself what needs to shift.

4. Do it anyway.

Motivation is great. But it’s not always there. And if “wanting it bad enough” were the secret to success, we’d all be crushing our goals, right?

The truth is, sometimes you just have to do it anyway. Don’t want to work out? Set a timer for five minutes and get started, you’ll likely finish the whole thing. Don’t want to tackle your inbox? Do 15 minutes. Don’t overthink. Don’t wait for the mood to strike. Just breathe, override your comfort-seeking brain, and do the thing.

It’s a form of self-respect. And it’s a step closer to the version of you you’re becoming.

5. Let them.

This one wasn’t mine originally (I believe it started in a poem by Cassie Phillips and then made waves thanks to Mel Robbins), but it’s become one of my personal mantras, and it’s even trickled into the way my family thinks now.

Someone cancels at the last minute? Let them.

Someone says no to your invite? Let them.

Someone in your life has a quirky habit that isn’t hurting anyone? Let them.

You can’t control other people. You can only control your reaction. And choosing not to absorb unnecessary stress, guilt, or frustration has given me so much peace.

It’s wild how letting go of control can actually make you feel more in control of your life.

Maybe one of these will work for you, too.They’ve changed the way I show up, and I hope they help you do the same.